When Your Mala Breaks

When Your Mala Breaks

Mala necklaces were traditionally used in Tibet as prayer beads. I started using a mala to help focus my mind in meditation and to receive the benefits of the healing crystals they are made with. I was taught to drape the beads over my middle finger, start at the “guru bead” by the tassel and using the thumb to move from one bead to the next while taking a slow deep breath at each bead. When I had completed 108 cycles of breath (for the 108 beads), it was about 15-20 minutes and my meditation was complete.

I wanted to create my own because I love crystals and beads and always have. The first mala I ever made took me FOREVER. Tying the knots between each bead was tough because I was teaching myself. There was a lot of trial and error and a lot of untying knots. I spent time to say a mantra at each knot. It took several sittings to complete it. Once I finished I had to find out how to make the tassel which was another learning experience. I gave that one away as a gift to a special friend. Then I made one that I decided to keep for myself. I picked crystals that I loved the color, look and healing properties of. I used it in meditation but kept it on my altar because I thought it was a little “weird” and too “spiritual” to wear. I would tuck in in my shirt to keep the crystals close to my heart but keep it hidden. I almost always wore it during healing sessions with clients and then took it off after. I set it out in the light of the full moon to recharge and cleanse it along with all of my other healing crystals. I rubbed essential oils on it too because the high frequency of crystals and oils work very well together. I took really good care of my special mala but kept it to myself.

Soon, I started noticing other people with malas and they were in stores, sold online and worn by yogis. I started to wear my mala wrapped on my wrist, doubled up around my neck or even long with the tassel hanging down low on the outside of my shirt. People commented on it and asked where they could get one. I couldn’t imagine making them for others since it was such a struggle to make mine. I was asked so many times, I took it as a sign and I started dedicating some time to make malas for others. Some were custom and some I would just make with a person in mind who had inquired and send them a picture asking if they liked it. I loved shopping for the crystal beads and expressing my creative side. I loved sharing my love of crystals, meditation and intention with others.

One day, I got an upset message from a friend. Their mala broke. I was sad too. I had never had mine break. Why and how could this have happened? I had them bring it back and I cut all the knots and re-made the whole thing. I did this a few times for people until I learned what it means when your mala breaks! 

When your mala breaks it feels terrible because it has become a part of you, it makes you feel good. But, when it breaks, this is a sign that the intention the mala was created for has shifted. It is a time of change and an opportunity for transformation, similar to when we get sick or injured. It is a time to go inside and see which direction you need to move in next. What have you learned? What is your new intention? This is a time to let go, heal and move forward. 

When I finally had my first mala break I was sad but with this understanding I quickly started to think about what my next mala should look like and represent. I was so excited to figure out what I wanted to create and make a new one!  I kept the broken one as a symbol of where I was at that time in my life. It is hard to move on but knowing it is for our highest and best good, makes it easier. The tough part is, you are always caught off guard when it breaks.

Last week we came home from the beach and Harper walked into her room and screamed. I went running back to find her whole room covered in torn pages of a favorite book (Picturepedia). We left our puppy in the house for a little too long and without enough exercise. Oops. This was our first experience with him destroying something big and making a huge mess. She sobbed and said, “I don’t care about the book as much as the mala that you made me.” She held in her hands the beautiful, delicate mala that I made for her birthday two years ago and she was devastated. It was all torn up. She had kept it by her bed when she wasn’t wearing it. I explained that I could make her another one when she was ready. Then, later that day, my mala broke while I was wearing it!! I don’t believe in coincidences. I think our malas breaking on the same day, hours apart, was serendipitous. I believe we are both going through a transition separately in our lives as she grows up and becomes more independent and together as we grow in our mother-daughter relationship. I am grateful for the understanding and acceptance of change and transition that can happen when we allow for it and I am looking forward to creating new intentions, new malas and a fresh start to a new phase in our lives.

We are all connected, so I feel like the malas breaking is a symbol of change and applies to everyone. Everyone who is ready and open to healing, transforming, growing, changing and evolving, in the face of what seems like a disappointing situation, not just me and Harper. I was inspired to do a juice cleanse this week and just realized as I was writing this, how appropriate it is. Cleansing the physical body helps to reset us and make transitions easier. Our minds become clearer and we are more in tune.  As we move out of summer and into fall we have a big transition in our lives with back to school, changing weather, and new routines. I used to resist change and curse “bad” things that happened in my life, (I still do sometimes) but I am grateful for the opportunity to go with the flow of life, when I can, and realize that we are all here to experience what serves us for our highest and best good. Hope this helps someone see the light at the end of the tunnel or accept a life-change today.

Love & light,

Kelowna

When the Surf is Bad, I Get Crafty in the Kitchen

When the surf is bad, I get crafty with food. When the surf is good, we eat very simply because, we're at the beach and I'm not in the kitchen! Ha ha!

The kids always get excited when they come home after school to something special, already prepared to eat so they don’t have to open the fridge and just stare saying, “I’m so hungry and there is NOTHING to eat.” They act like anything I suggest is the worst thing they ever heard of. You know what I’m sayin’? So, when I can (and the surf is bad), I set the tone for the afternoon by prepping something fun. Yesterday, while the kids were at school, I made Peanut Butter Cookies (that I stashed in the fridge and saved for a surprise in their lunch today) & Gluten-Free Banana Bread for after school and served it with frothy, fresh cold, Sprouted Almond Milk. The kids were stoked! I tend to throw things together without a real recipe so these are approximate amounts. If you want to add a little more or a little less of something, feel free and have fun! Hope you and your kiddos enjoy these healthy treats! <3

Sprouted Almond Milk

Soak 1 ½ cups Raw Organic Almonds in twice as much water over night in a large glass mason jar

In the am drain, rinse and add to blender with 3 cups filtered water

Blend for 1 minute on high

Strain into a large bowl, or measuring cup with mesh strainer lined with a Nut Milk Bag, cheese cloth or a cotton dish towel and squeeze gently to get all of the creamy milk out

Pour back into a glass mason jar and store in the fridge for up to 4 days (if it lasts that long!)

Gluten-Free Banana Bread

Dry Ingredients:

1 ½ cups Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Flour

¼ Rye flour

¼ Almond flour

¼ teaspoon Himalayan Sea salt

1 Tablespoon Baking Powder

Wet Ingredients:

1 ½-2 Bananas mashed

½ cup Apple sauce

2 Tablespoons melted coconut oil or safflower oil

¼ cup Agave nectar

3 Tablespoons ground flax seeds

½ cup Rice or Almond milk

Lightly grease a glass loaf pan with coconut oil. First mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients in a separate bowl. Pour wet into dry and mix gently. Scoop into glass loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean when stuck in the middle. Let cool 30 minutes. Slice and serve.

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup Raw Almonds ground with ¼ Brazil nuts or 1 ¼ cup Almond Flour

1 cup Shredded Coconut

1 Tablespoon each: Hemp Seeds, Ground Flax Seeds, Maca

1/8 Teaspoon Himalayan Sea Salt

½ cup Organic Chunky Salted Peanut Butter

¼ cup Agave Nectar

Blend/grind Almonds and Brazil nuts (I used a Vita-Mix) until it is like flour. Pour into large bowl.

Blend/grind Shredded Coconut & Hemp Seeds. Add to Almond/Brazil flour in large bowl and add remaining ingredients and stir, or cut in with fork and knife.

Scoop with a Tablespoon and roll into balls then press with a fork in a “+” for that classic Peanut Butter Cookie look. ;)

Store in the fridge. Enjoy! 

These recipes are made with love, perfectly filling and packed with nutrition. <3 

Number Nine

I read a series of parenting books once that explained how young children have six month cycles. Every six months they enter a new phase of being fun and enjoyable followed by six months of tough times and craziness. I’m not sure if it is actually true but at the time, I was grasping for anything to help me figure out what was happening as I became a mother for the first time. What I do know, is that being a parent can be pure bliss and joy, and it is also the most challenging and impossible feat I have ever faced. In all honesty, Eli have had our fair share of challenges since he was very little. I have learned that humans grow, evolve, heal and transform in the face of extreme challenges, so, that makes him my biggest spiritual teacher. I would have laughed at that before having him, but I have gained a lifetime of personal wisdom from this old soul. Despite our struggles, Eli and I seem to have a very strong one-on-one connection sometimes and particularly at this point in time. When we are out of house and alone together, he is happy, loving, cute (Oops! He hates being called that, but it slips out every once in a while!), respectful, confident, funny, and, no joke, I think he's more brave than I am because he has caught bigger waves than me this winter. ☺️ After many years of being worried about Eli, I can legitimately say I am proud of who he is and what he is becoming. I officially love this age, nine years old, and don't want him to grow up!

In thinking about how strong our relationship is right now, at his age of nine years old, and my age of 39, I remembered something significant. In numerology, the number nine represents integrity and wisdom among many other positive and negative qualities. Eli and I both share the number nine as one of our “birth numbers.” The life purpose of a "nine" when they are balanced, is to lead others through teaching and inspire by example, align their life with their heart’s intuitive wisdom, to live in accord with their highest integrity and are here to make a difference in the world. I am no numerology expert but for those who are, I am a 36/9 and Eli is a 19/10. There is a lot more to it and I find this type information reassuring and fascinating. For whatever it is worth, I notice we are as strongly connected now as we were when he was a newborn baby, loving each other’s company. I am going to make a point to get alone time with Eli as much as I can. I’m not sure how long this cycle will last.

Here's me and Eli after our surf session today, in the present moment. #surfdate #lunchdate #nineisthemagicalage


Love & light,
Kelowna

Freedom + Happiness = Success

Freedom and happiness are two of my ultimate goals in life. They are my why. They are what defines me. Just those words are like a breath of fresh air. That doesn't mean I am just floating around in bliss all the time but they are postitive words that embody what life should be filled with, in my opintion.

In reality though it looks more like, "Aaaah freedom!? Wait what do I do?!" Whenever I have free time and no plans, I have this moment of guilt and stress. It is like I am paralyzed by thoughts of what I "should" be doing. Working at home is a blessing, and it takes a lot of self-motivation. I always wonder, "What is the most important thing I should be doing right now?" Meditation, surf, exercise, eat, work, laundry, cleaning...and the to do list goes on! 

On Tuesday morning, I got my kids off to school, rode my bike down the street feeling giddy with the wind blowing in my hair and came home to prepare for my first day of FREEDOM after being with the kids 24/7 for their two week fall break. (Monday I was in meetings while the kids were in school).  My HAPPINESS was soon over come by the feeling of not knowing what to do first, so I turned to my oils. Of all of the essential oils on my shelf, I chose to roll some Highest Potential on my forehead, the top of my head and at the base of my neck, I gave myself a mist with Believe oil and water and took some deep breaths before I sat down at the computer to catch up. First, I checked my email where I noticed that Monday was the first day of the 21-day meditation series I signed up for weeks ago with Deepak and Oprah. My first thought was, "Dang it! I already missed day one!" But as I opened the email and read the message, lo and behold the topic for this 21-day meditation is believing in yourself and achieving your highest potential. No joke, I had just applied those two oils!! Hint, hint. Following the clear sign of what I "should" be doing I instantly stepped away from my computer and sat down to do the meditation. 

These daily Deepak and Oprah meditations in combination with using some new Freedom-Release and Freedom-Sleep oils for emotional balance, are really making me think (and dream!) deep about what determines true freedom, happiness and the feeling of being successful in life. What I notice seems simple. As long as I am nurturing myself and taking care of my own needs (surfing, sleeping well, eating clean, exercising, meditating etc.) I am constantly provided with opportunities to help others and I have the willingness and energy to do so. This brings me joy, feels sustainable, and this is how I seem to move forward in life. I help myself so I can be there to help others and this is true happiness and success in my eyes. 

On another note, I also notice that the very things that bring me the most worry and discomfort, are the things that I need to do most. Meditation, parenting my children, speaking in front of others when teaching classes, and even writing this post, are some of my biggest challenges, believe it or not!  I realize the challenging opportunities are the ones that propel me forward. Let me talk about meditation for a second. Meditation is NOT easy for me, it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Sit still. Do nothing. Don't think. I would rather stick a needle in my eye! That being said, the more I meditate, the smoother my life becomes and the more balanced I am physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. So, even though it is one of my biggest challenges, I know it helps me cope because I can deal with difficult situations with greater ease and grace. For example, when my kid throws a tantrum, I don't match their level of out-of-controllness (yea, I made that word up) and I am not as triggered by it. Showing up, believing in myself, having confidence, challenging myself, working through the discomfort, facing my fears, taking a look inside myself when I am triggered by my kids behavior, and not ever giving up are what gives my life meaning. The gifts I gain from the "tough stuff" are far greater than anything I ever imagined. 

Each time I work through another layer of my own healing, especially on the emotional level with essential oils and meditation, my relationships with my children, my family, and my friends improve, grow deeper and I am more fulfilled, free, and happy. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities that life presents me with. I just need to remember, the tougher the challenge, the greater the gift. The gifts are freedom and happiness. Freedom + Happiness = Success!

Love,

Kelowna

Harper jumping off this reef is a reminder to me of how it feels to be free, confident, daring, ready for anything, happy and successful. 

 Ready 

 Set

Go

Sunset, Swami's beach November 2015

In the Eyes of a Child

Last week I was awakened by Eli crawling into my bed while it was still dark out, "I have an idea mom. Let's get up and go surf and then go out to breakfast. Remember our date?!" He was wide awake and super enthusiastic. My first thought, I was sure there was no swell and the usual spring time wind had been creating less than appealing surf conditions. On the other hand, Eli was in his second week of spring break, and I wanted to make sure he was having fun and staying active, (i.e. getting worn out as much as possible!) Plus, at our previous weekly family meeting, we had talked about different ideas for spring break and one of mine was to make special time alone for a "date" with each member of our family. When I expressed that, Eli wanted to make sure our date was a "surf date." In a loud whisper he broke in again, "Come on Mom, get up, it's gonna be fun!" I left my warm bed and a peacefully sleeping Paul and Harper with the intention of having some time to connect with Eli, regardless of the poor surf conditions.

Sure enough, we got to the beach and there was a mixture of on shore and south wind blowing which makes an undesirable bump on the water. There were lots of empty parking spaces, which is never a good sign. If the surf is good, it is packed no matter how early it is. As we pulled up, Eli jumped out of the car and as we did our usual surf check to suss out the conditions, I crossed my arms, shivered and just remained silent, while he said, "Looks fun and uncrowded! Let's go out!" 

We opened up the back of the car, suited up and headed down. As we hit the water, Eli was all smiles, "Ah, the water is sooo warm still." At this point, I realized that for each negative thought I had, he had something positive to say. He was right, it was warm, compared to the air and for the time of the year for sure. We paddled out and he immediately caught a wave, rode it all the way in and paddled back out still grinning, "This is fun, huh, Mom?!" In his eyes, it was just as fun as being out on the best day of surf. I smiled at his enthusiasm and said, "Yeah, it is nice to be out here with you." The only people out were 4 kayakers and 2 longboarders. The kayakers only ride waves at surf spots when it is uncrowded because they are big, akward and not well accepted by some surfers. We did catch quite a few bumpy, wind swell waves and some of them were fun. By the time we came in, everyone else had gone in too, all the kayakers and the surfers. He looked back at the empty surf spot, and then at me, and said the first non-postitive comment of the morning, "Oh man, no one out?! This must be like the worst day ever!" It was like he just realized how bad the surf conditions were. Then, I did what he had been doing all morning, and pointed out the highlights, "Hey, we surfed uncrowded waves, in warm water and we got a front row parking spot." He immediately caught my drift, smiled and said, "Yeah, and now we get to go to out to breakfast!"

I am grateful for my childen for helping me stay in the present moment and focus on what really matters. In the eyes of our children, it is all about connecting with them. For Eli, and I, the ocean is the place where we connect best, no matter what the conditions are like!   

These photos were taken last summer after Eli had spent 8 hours at the beach. 

I love his beachy look, and salt stained eyes.

Photos: Pam Birmingham

high-main·te·nance

adjective

1. needing a lot of work to keep in good condition.
2. 
   

My on-going intention is to create B A L A N C E in my life between all of the things I love. The only problem is, I love a lot of different things! :) I love to surf, prepare delicious homemade food, use my Champion Juicer and VitaMix as much as possible, be outside in the sun, have time alone, walk on the beach, read books to and play with my kids, Eli (8) and Harper (5), have family time, date nights with my hubby, Paul, go on vacations, make mala necklaces, draw mandalas, do yoga, go to Kettlebells class (this is new for me!), meditate, see my clients, hang out with local friends and stay connected to those not local, give and recieve Reiki, teach classes, study about healing crystals and essential oils, read inspirational books, keep my house organized (yes, I do love this!), and probably about a million other things. 

I also really love to help people, and I feel like that is my Dharma or purpose in this life. I know when I am getting out of balance because I feel depleted. I get depleted when I put others needs before my own needs (what?! moms putting others needs before their own?!) I have very high energy most of the time and feel like the Energizer Bunny, because I just "keep going and going..." However, I have learned that to create the balance that I am always seeking, I have put myself first. If I am getting enough sleep, eating well, surfing, exercising and meditating regularly, I am more kind and patient, calm and centered with my family, and I have plenty of energy to help others. "My Cup Runneth Over!" It seems like common sense but it I have learned that it takes a lot of effort to take care of myself. So being high maintenance, despite some of its negative connotations, is not only ok, it is neccessary for my maintaining my optimal health and achieving balance.

Love and light,
Kelowna

Roseta Circa 2000